The birth story...

Finally right? It's only been a month, but who's counting?

So in typical Tracy style deliveries, I had been having intense contractions all week. (Not to mention the previous weeks of intense contractions but no dilation.)The doctor decided it would be best to induce me on Friday Oct 2nd (a whole week before my due date) since my previous baby was so big and both of my boys have had to be induced...plus he was going on vacation the next week, which we didn't find out about until we were in the hospital. ;) That week and the week before at my normal visits he would keep saying, "We'll see you Friday if not sooner." We seriously had a couple of nights were it was determined we would go in if the contractions didn't die down with some rest, and sure enough with rest they would ease. So Friday morning bright and early we went to the hospital.

We got there about 6:00 am and I was already dilated to a 4. Since Maggie was still floating a little high they put me on pitocin instead of breaking my water and waited to see what she would do. Around 8 they came back and checked on me and she was engaged in the canal enough to break my water...I was a 5. Around 10:30 or so the contractions really were picking up and getting to be a lot and the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural now. I have talked about it a little with other people but I don't think I even realized how stressed out I was about the decision. I really didn't want one and the side effects (whole body convulsions, longer recovery, etc) but I also didn't want to feel that much pain. I think I probably could've kept going without it and so when the Doctor came in I was still undecided. As he was about to leave a contraction hit and so I said yes. He went to go get his stuff and was back in I swear less than a minute. It was as I remembered it with the boys until the pain started. I mean intense lightening flashes of pain down my back and into my toes. Obviously that wasn't right and so he took the epidural out. He put a new one in, but a little bit higher. As my shoulders went numb I seriously started to question my decsion. It took over 20 minutes for the epidural to kick in and even then I could still feel the contractions and what they termed "good pressure". It eased it enough I was able to rest some.

Around 11:00 the nurse came in to check on me and I was a 6 but the baby seemed to be facing the wrong direction; so she had me turn to my right side. After 30 minutes she came back in and checked and I was still a 6 and Maggie was still facing the wrong way so she had me try laying on my left side. The nurse left our room to go call the doctor and give him an update and I swear not 30 seconds after she left the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life hit me full blown. It was like all of a sudden I was feeling this undescribeable need to push and it freaked me out. I started to panic from the pain and yelling at the top of my lungs. "What happened? Why isn't the epidural working?" and Eddie's personal favorite that made him laugh, "Help me!" The nurse came running back in a few minutes later and checked me and I was a 10. So I basically went from a 6 to a 10 in less than 10 minutes...Yeah, it really was as bad as that sounds. Needless to say, I kept telling them I needed to push and they kept telling me I couldn't because they hadn't even called the doctor yet. I kept asking them, "How do I NOT push?" They told me to use my breathing and I just kept thinking, "My breathing? What's that?" They had to show me how. I feel pretty embarrased about it now, but at the time I just couldn't remember what I was supposed to do.

Thankfully Dr. Hoffman works across the street and it didn't take him hours to get there, more like 20 minutes. (He was with a patient, someone who will remain nameless but turns out we know her ;) He got there just minutes before 12 and she was out by 12:03p.m. When he arrived and everything was set up the nurse finally told me to push and I just looked at her like, now? I was still freaking out and just started yelling. It's like I forgot how to push because the pain was overshadowing all intelligence. Poor Dr. Hoffman just looked at me and said, "I know it seems like it would help to yell, but I really need you to focus your energy on pushing this baby out." That's all it took. Something triggered in my mind and I remembered what I needed to do. Sure enough, one more push and she was out. The most miraculous experience of my life. It's not cliche, it's truth: the moment she was out and I saw her, the pain was gone. I went from the most excruciating and mind-numbing pain to absolute bliss, in nothing flat.

Because of this:


She was worth it and it looks like I got my natural child birth after all.