Tuesday, September 27, 2011

An honest attempt

Well...I gave it an honest attempt, but I find myself needing to re-dedicate myself to some goals I have/had. I have learned a great lesson from my husband: it's never the wrong time to re-dedicate and you can never do it too much. He helps encourage me and lift me up when I need it most. So with that, I have some goals...

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being sick all the time. I'm tired of being overweight and battling my image issues. I'm tired of not having a clean house and folded laundry. I'm tired of yelling at my children. I'm tired of dropping off/picking up children from school. I'm tired of setting goals and not doing anything about them. I'm tired of having dreams and not doing anything to persue them. I'm tired.

And so, I've decided I'm not going to be tired anymore. I've made up my mind. I feel great. I feel wonderful and alert and energetic and on those rare ;) days that I don't, I will fake it till I make it. I'm almost 30 (yikes!) and I'm not the person I want to be or feel like the Lord needs me to be. I have so much to be grateful for and so much good that has been given me. I truly feel inspired by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's recent address to the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and from the recent Sunday School lesson I gave last Sunday. Life is a journey, and it's long and hard. Each of us come to Earth and face hardships, trials, heartaches and lonely times...but each of us have also been given our agency to choose peace, happiness and joy in our journies. I want to be this woman...the woman who chooses to find "joy in the journey".

I have written my goals down on paper but I want my children and my children's children, etc. to know that I have faith my weaknesses can become strengths as I turn to the Lord and allow Him to change me. Some of my goals have not changed all that much over the years, but I'd like to think I've learned some lessons with my challenges and I'm ready to hand them off now. If it's not the right time to have them removed from me, then I will press on like the prophet Paul and will continue forward with my own "thornes of the flesh" and will dig deep for the humility and faith required to find comfort and peace.

For posterity, some of my immediate goals are:
1. Spend 30 minds each day moving and shaking...either exercise, dance parties with the kids, mopping the kitchen floor (definitely a workout!), etc.

2. Take time out of my day to have quiet time with each of my children...reading, homework, talking, jumping on the tramp, etc.

3. Stay on top of the dishes...Seriously, I'm not ready to tackle the laundry beast steps!

Some of my life-long goals:

1. Start and end each day in prayer ON MY KNEES! Kind of rediculous that this isn't already a life-long habit already formed, but it will be. IT WILL BE! I know how much it makes a difference in my life when I do.

2. Learn another language...It's easier for me to understand Spanish than it is Portequese, but I want to be able to serve a foreign mission with my husband but that probably won't happen if I can't speak another language.

I have much more listed in my notebook, but my children have just returned home and it's time to be mom.


Angela said...

You rock my socks! Your post has been the last few months of my journal entries..probably the last few years really. Thanks for helping me realize I am not alone and for also setting yet another great example of doing something about it.

p.s. homework? What schooling are you doing?

The Mid-Cart Parentals said...

I was about to quote Elder Uchtdorf to you, but as I continued to read your post...I see that you have been listening to him. I love when he told us not to be so hard on ourselves...goals are always a good thing, they keep us focused on things that matter most - love you! <3

Snap 'n' the Cheek said...

Just so you know, you are one of the people I admire most. You are truly beautiful, outside and in! I often think about the way you helped plan and put together that Thanksgiving dinner. I would have been fine with just dinner, but it made it so nice that you went the extra mile to make it beautiful and interactive. You do more good than you know, and I'm so impressed that you continue to want to do more. And what a great idea to make yourself accountable to your posterity, I'll have to try that too.

JasonDebbie said...

I also loved Pres.Uchtdorf's(sp?) talk he gave...I've thought alot about the "golden ticket" mentality, and how theres things I keep thinking will make me much more happy if I can just get them, when I really should be happy with what I have now. I need to work on the praying on my knees too and also to give each child more attention, its hard with a baby though that demands constant attention. You have good ideas!

neil and jes said...

Wow I'm pretty sure the other day I could have written the exact same sentiments in my own journal. It's comforting to know that we all have times where we feel this way. And you are such a great example to show that as you said, it's never too late to re-dedicate yourself to your goals.

I love you!