Mother's Day 2011 and mini-update

I have a gazillion pictures and memories that I need to get down before they're lost from my mind but sadly I can't seem to find the time to do so. I think maybe I need to start realizing that each post doesn't need a bunch of pictures...although it's nice but if I wait to post with pictures then I never do it and I don't my children looking back at my "journal" and having complete years missing from their lives.

So with that:

Nathan has been busy with school and playing soccer and tormenting/being tormented by his younger brother. We just found out Nathan got in to the new charter school, Infinity Prep, here in Irving for next year and we are thrilled. We've talked to his teacher and parents of kids in the other charter school and some of the teachers in the Irving ISD and even one in what would be Nate's public school and it all boils down to this: Nate needs to be in the charter school because he needs to NOT be in J.O. Davis Elementary School. From everyone we've talked to, it's one of the worst schools in the district and Nathan is so far beyond where he should be, that he would just get lost. Infinity Prep can provide a more challenging curriculum and more flexibility when it comes to moving him to upper levels for reading and math. Eddie and I know he's a smart kid, but hearing it from his teacher now just kind of solidified for me what I thought I knew about Nate. (It's hard when you're the parent because we're biased and programed to think our children are amazing and wonderful...as it should be...so coming from someone else took away some of my worry,fear,stress,anxiety for Nate next year.) I'm really torn up inside though because I don't know what I'm going to do next year when My Nate AND Drew are BOTH GONE! I love getting to spend time with Nate and listening to his mind work a million miles a minute...It's going to be such a long day for him and such a big change for both of us. It makes my heart sick. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I just pray that I've taught him enough in these last 5 years. He's entering the world where he'll spend more time with other people than with me. And I'm rebelling inside...It's time and the right thing, but it still hurts. He's not liking soccer as much as we had hoped, but at least when he forgets he's miserable, he's having a great time! And oddly enough, every Saturday rolls around and he is dressed and ready and excited for soccer...it's just after a few minutes in the game that he remembers he isn't happy.

Andrew is still the happiest, friendliest child in the world. He is kept busy with pre-school, soccer, loving on his sister (a little too much...according to Maggie at least...I think it's adorable!), tormenting/being tormented by his older brother and eating up every spare second he can with his Dad. Drew went to play frisbee golf one late night with Eddie and some of his friends. He LOVED it! He came home so excited to tell me all about how he had almost made it in. I love Drew because he didn't dwell on the fact that he never made the frisbee into the bucket, but rather how much better he got in the end that he almost made it in. He is always the first to give up or share whatever he has, to make someone else happy. He is our family peacemaker and it kills him inside that Maggie doesn't love his "kisses and hugs" as much as he loves to give them. He is enamored with his sister but she just screams at him when he comes near her. I'm sure as she gets older and can start using her words and Andrew gets older and can start realizing what she likes/doesn't like and what is appropriate "preasure" amounts, they'll have a wonderful relationship. What little girl doesn't love being worshipped by her two big brothers? ;) Andrew is really getting good at soccer and can't wait to get home to tell Dad all about how many goals he made. Nathan and Drew are on the same team and it is the cutest thing to me to watch them walk out on to the field holding hands and cheering for each other. They really can be the best of friends at times...so why is it so easy for them to forget that? Andrew is really coming along in his speech and clarity...I find that I have to "translate" less and less for him to strangers and family. He is really in to music right now and playing the drums (aka pots and pans and tupperware)and he's singing around the house all the time. He even wrote me a song for mother's day:

Love, love, love
I love you song...
A word in Christ
And the word in the song
is for you.

We can't get enough of our Drew-bee-doo and Nate-a-roo and find my heart overwhelmed that I get to be their mother.

But there is no secret that Maggie is the light in everyone's eye. She brings a smile to her brothers, her dad and especially to me. She just has a sparkle in her eye and smile that melt away your stresses and worries. She loves to be tickled under her chin and tossed high in to the air. She has added a few words to her repatoire, but not many. Her favorites are still "hi" and "no" but now she also likes to say "ball" and "bye" and "moo" and "uh-oh" and "eeee" for three and "good" after almost every bite of food. She is in love with the letter magnets on our fridge and will find you anywhere in the house and hound you till you tell her the name of the letter and make it's sound. Then she claps for you and makes you feel like you've accomplished something amazing. She loves to put her diaper in the trash all by herself. She pulls all the laundry out of the laundry baskets daily. She will sit in the boys room all by herself for long stretches of time "reading" books and snuggling their pillow pets. Her hair is finally getting a little longer...at least long enough I can do pseudo-pigtails. She still loves putting anything soft and furry into her face and bites it. She LOVES being outside and any time a door opens anywhere, she is right there to escort you in or out. She is friendly and will wave and say "hi" to EVERYONE! She's not very big, but rather on the tall side for our children. She weighs 26 lbs, Drew weighs 42 lbs and Nate weighs 34 lbs. And each of them have gorgeous, big, round, deep, old-soul eyes. Maggie's are a light brown like her Daddy's, Drew's are a darker brown like my mother's and Nate's are green/hazel just like mine. We've recently started to play the "love bug" game where anytime someone sees a love bug and calls it out then everyone in the car tells that person a reason why they love them. And let me tell you, when I tell my children something like, "I love Drew because he has brown eyes like his daddy" or "I love Nate because he has a nose like Daddy's" they EAT IT UP!!!! Truly, they love any reason we give them; I wish I could capture the smile that lights up their face when I tell them or Eddie tells them why they are loved.

It's getting really late and I'm past ready for bed, but I had to quickly write down my thoughts and emotions from Mother Day of 2011. Because I have never felt so loved by my husband, my children and especially my Heavenly Father. I was feeling pretty blue and sad the morning of Mother's Day as I thought about my own mother and how much I missed her and ached to be hugged by her. Eddie was so thoughtful to let me sleep and rest in the morning but when the time came to get going, he tenderly nudged me to get going and to forget the sorrow. My children must have told me, "I love you Mom! Happy MOther's Day!" at least 50 times each and everytime they did it melted my heart. In Sacrament meeting (which was amazing!) Nathan came up and asked if he could sit in my lap. He gave me kisses and hugs and kept telling me that he loved me and that I was beautiful and that he was so glad I was his mommy. The other thing he kept saying was, "You're the best date partner." (Side story: I took Nate on a one-on-one date Friday night and Drew got to go out with me on Saturday night, and it was by far the best thing I've ever done with my boys...it was amazing! And it will definitely be something we do each year for mother's day!) I was already feeling so much love and happiness inside and feeling pretty good that I hadn't had a major breakdown yet when Nathan twisted around and whispered in my ear, "Mom, I love you forever and always." I instantly broke down and wept as the pain washed over me...that's what my mom used to say to me. And then I felt my mother's love through Nathan. It was as though my mother was telling me, "Tracy, I love you forever and always. Forever and always my baby you'll be." I'm so grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord that allow us to be comforted and brought peace and love when we need them most. The rest of the Sunday went by so fast and was so fun. I had some great phone conversations with family and loved ones (J it meant the world to me that you called...come home!)and really amazing conversations in person with dear friends that feel like family. I was made and served an amazing dinner and one in which I didn't have to do any prep work or clean up (it was so wonderful). What touched me the most, was that Eddie had called my OA sponsor and friend to find out what he could make that would be allowed on my food plan. I'm telling you, he was so thoughtful and kind and really tried to make it a wonderful day for me. And it was! It WAS wonderful. I'm thankful for my family. I love my life and I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with opportunities to grow and stretch in motherhood. My wish is for everyone to feel as loved as I have.