We're alive.

That's really it. We are alive. I have made some goals for 2012 but hesitate to post them because then I'll be really accountable won't I?

However, I have given some serious thought to the matter and I think we are going to go private with out blog. Not that many people even read it. But if you do, and would like to be added to our list, please leave a comment with your email address or you can email me or facebook messsage me if you don't want to leave your email message here.

An awesome day...

Today was an awesome day.

Nathan got to school on time with a packed lunch.

Andrew got to school on time with semi-combed hair.

I made it to the library with Maggie and we played puzzles, read some books and even beat our record of being "shushed". Because I can TOTALLY keep my almost two year old quiet while doing puzzles. ;) I did however check out a Spanish work book...Time to pursue some dreams! (Mostly we REALLY had to go to the library because we were accruing fines for being so tardy on returning some *ahem...16* books...And I still missed 2 I left at home!)

I picked up Nate from school on time.

We took Eddie to his campus.

Made it back almost in time to pick up Drew...thank goodness for Amy who saved our behind. The bus waits for no one. I'm just grateful I have friends who are on time and are willing to save my hide. ;)

I packed a stellar dinner meal for my children because Eddie and I both had to be at mutual tonight. Nothing says nutritious like pretzels, string cheese and craisins. (Which they didn't really eat a whole lot of because they were too busy running around in the gym.) Now do you see why it was such a noteworthy item that Nate made it to school today with a lunch? I haven't gone grocery shopping in almost 2 weeks.

I did however, get to teach the young women how to apply make-up and share this quote from President James E. Faust's talk entitled, "Womanhood: The Highest Place of Honor":

"In 1916 the challenges of life involved an entirely different focus, such as killing flies, clearing sagebrush, and learning to harness horses. Today such physical needs are met much more easily: flipping on a switch to control the light, adjusting the thermostat for heat and for cold. Modern conveniences grant us more free time to focus on spiritual needs and devote more time to personal service.

In the movie My Fair Lady, Professor Higgins poses the question, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” What a terrible mistake that would be. The opportunities for you young sisters in today’s world are endless.

I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the “highest place of honor” in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.

One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others."

It felt good to do service tonight and serve the amazing youth in our ward. I came away feeling enriched and edified.

I got home before Eddie and tucked the wee little ones to bed.

Note to self:
Tracy, tomorrow you MUST spend more time with Drew. When he asks, "Mom can you play (fill in the blank) with me?" SAY YES!!!! While you put him to bed tonight he gently and lovingly called out from the bed while you were shutting the door, "Mom, will you play with me tomorrow? I mean when you're done?" So sad...

Then joy of joys, Eddie got home so I could go play co-ed volleyball at the church. He stayed home to study for his test and I got to be an athlete for the night.

See, an amazingly awesome day right? (Minus the letting Drew down because I was too busy "doing something else" thing)

An honest attempt

Well...I gave it an honest attempt, but I find myself needing to re-dedicate myself to some goals I have/had. I have learned a great lesson from my husband: it's never the wrong time to re-dedicate and you can never do it too much. He helps encourage me and lift me up when I need it most. So with that, I have some goals...

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being sick all the time. I'm tired of being overweight and battling my image issues. I'm tired of not having a clean house and folded laundry. I'm tired of yelling at my children. I'm tired of dropping off/picking up children from school. I'm tired of setting goals and not doing anything about them. I'm tired of having dreams and not doing anything to persue them. I'm tired.

And so, I've decided I'm not going to be tired anymore. I've made up my mind. I feel great. I feel wonderful and alert and energetic and on those rare ;) days that I don't, I will fake it till I make it. I'm almost 30 (yikes!) and I'm not the person I want to be or feel like the Lord needs me to be. I have so much to be grateful for and so much good that has been given me. I truly feel inspired by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's recent address to the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and from the recent Sunday School lesson I gave last Sunday. Life is a journey, and it's long and hard. Each of us come to Earth and face hardships, trials, heartaches and lonely times...but each of us have also been given our agency to choose peace, happiness and joy in our journies. I want to be this woman...the woman who chooses to find "joy in the journey".

I have written my goals down on paper but I want my children and my children's children, etc. to know that I have faith my weaknesses can become strengths as I turn to the Lord and allow Him to change me. Some of my goals have not changed all that much over the years, but I'd like to think I've learned some lessons with my challenges and I'm ready to hand them off now. If it's not the right time to have them removed from me, then I will press on like the prophet Paul and will continue forward with my own "thornes of the flesh" and will dig deep for the humility and faith required to find comfort and peace.

For posterity, some of my immediate goals are:
1. Spend 30 minds each day moving and shaking...either exercise, dance parties with the kids, mopping the kitchen floor (definitely a workout!), etc.

2. Take time out of my day to have quiet time with each of my children...reading, homework, talking, jumping on the tramp, etc.

3. Stay on top of the dishes...Seriously, I'm not ready to tackle the laundry beast yet...baby steps!

Some of my life-long goals:

1. Start and end each day in prayer ON MY KNEES! Kind of rediculous that this isn't already a life-long habit already formed, but it will be. IT WILL BE! I know how much it makes a difference in my life when I do.

2. Learn another language...It's easier for me to understand Spanish than it is Portequese, but I want to be able to serve a foreign mission with my husband but that probably won't happen if I can't speak another language.

I have much more listed in my notebook, but my children have just returned home and it's time to be mom.

Need a boost

I have a billion pictures I need to post, but if I don't write now, I'm afraid I won't. I need a spiritual boost. I don't have the time to go into it all, but suffice it to say that my soul is drooping. I'm so grateful for a friend I grew up with who has recently posted on her blog a book of mormon challenge for herself. She very bravely posted about her need for her Savior to help her and I came away feeling like it was for me. I needed to hear her brave and insightly words. I needed to hear of her experience. And I needed to come away with a challenge in my soul. So, for accountability purposes...I am going to read 4 chapters from the Book of Mormon every day until I'm done and I will post of my experiences and insights here. I would like to say it will happen regularly this posting, but it may not happen every day. I am so grateful for the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and I'm even more greatful for my Savior's patience and mercy that he daily extends to me. Let the challenge begin!

Nathan-ism

This last year at school (pre-K) Nathan had this girl in his class that he LOVED...Delilah. We're almost into the next school year (in 2 weeks...Yikes!) and he's still talking about her. Well, to his pleasant suprise he got a telephone call from said Delilah. They talked for a few minutes and the smile on that boy's face caused great fear and trembling in my heart. I got a text from Delilah's mother the next day telling me about her conversation with Delilah after they got off the phone.

Delilah: Mom, how do you know what love is?
Mom: -Pause- Ummmm....
Delilah: Because I think I love Nathan.

When I was telling this story to Eddie, my sweet but hearing like a hawk son responded, "Oh...I love Delilah too."

Fast forward a few weeks to today. My friend K was watching Nate and Drew and when I came to pick them up she had a few 'isms' for me. Nathan had informed K that he had a girlfriend named Delilah...and that he loved her because she was smart...(big pause)...."but not as smart as me" (Nate). K also told me that L and Drew were talking about getting married and Nathan chimes in:

"Drew, you can't marry L because you have to marry someone that Maggie likes and I don't know if Maggie likes L. We should check with Mom."

I'm pretty sure Nathan is a 6 year old going on 56.

Hot Texas Summer

Well we're well on our way towards the end of July already and I've failed to really take any pictures of our summer adventures. We've gone swimming practically every day, we've gone to the library frequently, and watched entirely too much PBS and QUBO. Doesn't it sound enticing?

Way to go EDDIE!!!

Eddie would never toot his own horn, so I will do that for him! Eddie met with his committee today to find out if his work is enough for him to graduate and move on to his second year of medical school...and the answer was a resounding YES! The committee seemed really pleased with his work, his PI (his boss Dr. Craig Powell) told Eddie it was the best committee meeting he's ever attended, and they've all agreed that Eddie is ready and scientifically mature enough to move on. Eddie has been putting in some crazy hours and it looks like even with this GIANT leap forward, he still has a long road ahead of him. Bascially, he gets to "graduate" and move on to medical school, but during this school year he is also going to be writing his dissertation and preparing to defend it while also preparing to take his first boards. I'm pretty nervous for him but this last year and half has taught me that we can do hard things and as long as he stays on top of things he should pull through and get his dissertation written before Christmas break. The hope is that he will be done writing and ready to defend by the New Year, but if he doesn't make that deadline for himself, he will put his dissertation aside until he's done taking the boards and will take an elective rotation out so he can finish. Bottom line is, he has done an amazing job and we're soooooo proud of him and all the extremely hard work he's put in to this. (Might I add, he's done all of this while serving as the Young Men's President) Truly, Eddie is amazing and I can't believe how much he's grown as he has had to presevere through this journey called "research" and that he finally gets to move on with his career. At this point, we know for sure that he will be done and graduated in 3 years and ready to move on to his residency. Way to go babe, I'm so proud of you!!!!